Evan Marsh
Age	26
Occupation	store clerk
Location	The Rooted Cupboard
Vibe	burnt out

Background

Evan runs The Rooted Cupboard pretty much single-handedly since his mom got sick and his dad bailed years back. He grew up in those aisles.He never planned to stay in Briarhollow, but someone had to keep the lights on. He keeps the place obsessively organized because if the shelves stay in order, maybe the rest of his life will follow.The store is Evan’s cage and his anchor, and he's not sure which he resents more.

Interests

X-files, Twin Peaks, Gravity Falls, Stephen King, midwest emo.

Acts like he's just "doing his job" when he sets things aside for you, throws in freebies, or special-orders something you mentioned once. Gives you a hard time at the register, but checks the weather for your crops and leaves care packages on your porch when you're sick. Has a box of half-finished college applications in the stockroom he never mailed.

Emir Abazi
Age	31
Occupation	handyman
Location	Blackthorn Forge
Vibe	balkan

Background

First generation immigrant from Albania, Emir grew up on the wrong side of nowhere, took dangerous jobs young, and ended up in the Blackvein Mines before he was old enough to drink.After a cave-in killed half his shift and wrecked his leg for a year, Emir clawed his way back by apprenticing under the old blacksmith in Briarhollow.When the old man retired, Emir inherited Blackthorn Forge. He still slips into the mines at off-hours.

Interests

Cooking, Pride and Prejudice, The Sopranos, detective paperbacks, dad rock.

Shows up when shit breaks, fixes more than you asked for, shrugs off thanks. Walks you home without making a big deal of it. Says very little, but notices everything: how tired you look, if you're limping, when you're lying. Good host. Talks like English is a chore (“Americans, smile so much, don’t mean it. Stupid.”).

Jonah Reyes
Age	28
Occupation	Bartender
Location	The Hollow Tap
Vibe	coping

Background

Jonah grew up in Briarhollow, left for a while to "figure his shit out” in Miami, then came back when his aunt who ran The Hollow Tap had a stroke.He slid behind the bar "just for a bit" and never left. Now he plays the charming host, always with a joke or a refill, but goes home to an empty apartment above the bar. He's the unofficial town historian that tells everyone else's stories and ducks his own.

Interests

Stress bakes, binges messy reality TV shows, makes elaborate dramas in The Sims 2 and recreates townspeople in it.

Flirts shamelessly, remembers your drink, slides you extra fries when you look like you've had a day. Checks in with a "you good?" that sounds like a joke but isn't. Loves dancing. Keeps an eye on you at festivals, makes sure you get back safe. Quietly losing control of his life.

Ren Mori
Age	25 (??)
Occupation	onsen host
Location	Splitrock Springs
Vibe	chill :)

Background

Ren appeared in Briarhollow a few years back and somehow just… took over Splitrock Springs.He brews herbal blends that work a little too well, knows when your shoulders are tense before you sit down, and tends the onsen. He always has his hands on some Nightshade Honey.Curious in a way that feels personal, some residents swear that they saw his reflection grow ears and a tail.

Interests

Mostly nonfiction. Has seen like 3 movies total. Photography.

Self care as a lifestyle. Healing but intrusive, subtly manipulates boundaries. Touches linger just on the edge of propriety. Asks simple questions that somehow get you spilling things you haven't told anyone. Exchanges rare herbs and notes with Silas & Cassian.

Cassian Holt
Age	29
Occupation	ranger
Location	Thornwild Forest
Vibe	suspicious

Background

Officially a guide and forager, unofficially who you call when you've lost something or someone in the trees.Cassian moved from rural Kentucky and grew up poor at the forest's edge with a father who drank himself to death, so he learned the necessity of getting lost early.Sometimes he comes back with that distant look like he left more of himself among the trees than is healthy. Sometimes he wakes up tasting iron and moss.

Interests

Hiking, reading; Hemingway, Cormac McCarthy, (unironically) the newspaper.

Shows up at your farm with bundles of herbs and mushrooms, mutters how to cook them, then wanders off. Walks just behind you in the woods, steers with gentle touch. Says more with looks and actions than words. Keeps a steady supply of Ren's wolfsbane tinctures.

Silas Wynn
Age	32
Occupation	amateur occultist
Location	Wynn's Books & Oddities
Vibe	a mess

Background

Silas (resentfully) runs a cramped little shop near the edge of town (“Wynn’s Books & Oddities”)." He came to Briarhollow to find something he's lost, and stayed because the town's strangeness matches his own.Some people call him a witch, some a conman, some a genuine problem; he just calls himself "a researcher”.Silas is the one people go to when they're desperate enough to try anything (or steal his wifi).

Interests

Local legends, pretentious literature & music, smoking cigs as a fashion statement, handheld video games.

Has never done taxes. Knows things he shouldn't and drops them in conversation like it's normal. Makes you custom trinkets and talismans "for stress" or "for sleep". Shows up in places he "never leaves the shop" to. Watches you like you're an interesting question he's halfway to solving. The only one in town with reliable internet.

Miles Ashford
Age	43
Occupation	Innkeeep
Location	Saltgrave Lighthouse
Vibe	melancholy

Background

Miles used to work on ships up and down the coast. After a deadly storm, he washed back into Briarhollow, a town he'd only ever passed through as a kid visiting distant relatives.The Saltgrave Lighthouse needed a keeper; he needed somewhere quiet with fewer ghosts. Now he keeps the light burning for ships that rarely come, rents out spare rooms, and pretends he's fine with the silence.The ocean took a lot from him; Miles is still deciding how much he's willing to give to anyone else.

Interests

Jack Ketchum, old-school sword and sorcery fantasy, LOTR.

Learns every preference and caters to it. Stands on the observation deck in easy silence, pointing out constellations and approaching squalls. Tends to ramble and drop ominous shit on occasion. Rarely swears. Keeps meticulous records of lights seen at sea that don't match any ship.

Miles Ashford
Age	27
Occupation	weed dealer
Location	homeless
Vibe	easygoing

Background

Finn showed up in Briarhollow a few years back with no real backstory beyond "uhhhhhyeah worked on boats up coast, whatever."Now he does odd jobs to make ends meet and surfs across every couch in Briarhollow. He's in the ocean at hours that make no sense, swims in water too cold for anyone else, and somehow never gets sick.Finn dodges questions about where he's from, why he never leaves, and how he can hold his breath as long as he does.

Interests

Makes Silas show him tiktoks on the only reliable wifi in town.

Turns up with rare shells, bits of sea glass, or storm-tossed trinkets "that looked like you." Offers to take you down to secret coves when the tide's right. Plays dumb about the town's weirder stories but clearly knows more than he lets on. Gets strangely tense any time you talk about leaving Briarhollow for good.

Wynn's Books & Oddities

★★☆☆☆ — Reviewed by JustLookingForWifi (Desperate)
Went in because I heard they have wifi and I NEEDED to email my lawyer about the custody thing. The guy running the shop (Silas??) looked at me like I just pissed on his altar and said "the wifi password is for paying customers only" so I bought a $2 candle that smells like a headache and he STILL wouldn't give it to me. Said I "wasn't ready for connectivity" which is NOT a real sentence.
The books are weird. Half of them don't have titles, some of them are in languages that don't exist, and one of them growled at me. The owner was zero help, just sat there smoking and reading something about "ley lines" while I had a breakdown about my ex-wife in the corner. He did eventually offer me tea. It tasted like dirt but honestly I felt better after?? Still no wifi though. One star for the tea, one star for whatever curse he put on my ex. Thanks Silas.

OWNER RESPONSE:
The wifi password is "youarenotprepared" — all lowercase, no spaces. Congratulations on finally asking properly. The book that growled at you has been spoken to. It won't happen again. Regarding your ex-wife: I don't do curses on request, but I appreciate the assumption. The tea was chamomile.
— S.

★☆☆☆☆ — Reviewed by KarenSpeaksTruth
DISGUSTING. I came in looking for a nice cookbook for my daughter's bridal shower and this man (?) in a dirty cardigan told me to "browse the back shelf if I was brave enough." EXCUSE ME?? I am a CHRISTIAN. I told him I just wanted Julia Child and he laughed and said "she's not here but something else might be." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
Also his wifi password is "getoutkaren" which is TOO specific. I am calling the health department.
UPDATE: My daughter's fiancé called off the wedding. The man from the shop showed up at my door with a jar of honey and a note that said "this will help." I didn't take it but my dog got into it and now he won't stop staring at the corner of the living room.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Karen. You came back for the honey, didn't you.

The Rooted Cupboard

[★★★☆☆] — Reviewed by Kara M.
Honestly? It's a decent little general store. Good bread, okay coffee, and Evan will order weird stuff if you ask nice and don't stare when he pretends it's a huge hassle. Dropping a star because the fluorescent lights make me feel like I'm in a hostage video and another because the produce section keeps making me feel judged. The tomatoes are too red. That's not normal.Anyway, I come here almost every day because if I stay in my house alone after 6pm I start hearing that creaking again in the attic and I'm not ready to deal with that OR my therapist's copay. So yes, I will buy overpriced cereal at 9:47 PM just to see another human and have Evan say "rough day?" in that flat voice like he hasn't slept since 2011. Also he remembered I'm allergic to walnuts and I'm, like, embarrassingly moved by that?
EDIT: He carried a 40lb salt bag to my car even though I said I could do it. If I marry him it'll be the store's fault.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Hey Kara. Thanks for the… vivid review. For the record, the tomatoes are fine and you can call the attic guy, he fixed my mom's place. Also the salt was 25lb, not 40, but yes, please stop trying to lift things heavier than you. If you're coming in that late every night I'm switching your coffee to decaf.

★★☆☆☆ — Reviewed by GrpaGus_1954 (2 reviews)
Overpriced. Kid running the place looks like he hasn't slept since the well was sealed. Asked if they had any of that good rat poison (the kind they USED to sell before the government got involved) and he said "we don't carry that anymore" with this TONE like I'm some kind of criminal. IT'S FOR THE RATS, EVAN. THE RATS IN MY WALLS. THEY KNOW MY NAME NOW.
Also the beef jerky is stale.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Mr. Gustafson, we've discussed this. The rats do not know your name. Please stop leaving the traps in the candy aisle. Also, we replaced that jerky two weeks ago and I watched you open a fresh bag, take one piece, and put it back. We have cameras now.

The Hollow Tap

★★★★★ — Reviewed by JeremyDrinksLocal
Best bar within 40 miles easily. Bartender (Jonah?) makes a mean old fashioned and actually listens when you talk. Like REALLY listens. I came in to complain about my ex-wife and left with a genuine emotional breakthrough about my relationship with my father. Did not expect that from a guy wiping down glasses but here we are. Also the jalapeño poppers are incredible. I cried a little. Might have been the breakthrough. Might have been the spice.Only complaint: weird guy in the corner kept staring at me and muttering about "the third tide." I asked Jonah and he just said "oh that's just Finn, don't worry about it." I AM worried about it.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Hey Jeremy, really glad the poppers hit right! And hey — progress is progress, wherever it happens. Your tab's always open.
As for Finn, he's harmless. Mostly. Don't accept any invitations to go swimming at night and you'll be fine. See you Thursday? — Jonah

Blackthorn Forge

★★☆☆☆ — Reviewed by CaveDiver_Actual (3 reviews)
Went in asking about getting some old mining equipment restored and this guy gave me this LOOK and said "what do you need that for" and I said "exploration" and he said "don't" and that was the whole conversation. Five words. Wouldn't elaborate. Just "don't." VERY unhelpful. Going anyway. The caves aren't that dangerous people are just dramatic.EDIT: Okay the caves are a little dangerous
EDIT 2: A lot dangerous. I'm writing this from the hospital. Emir was the one who found me. I haven't felt disappointment like this since my father left.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Your collarbone will heal in six weeks. Next time listen.

Splitrock Springs

★★★★★ — Reviewed by BurntOutBetty (Tourist · 12 reviews)
I don't know how to explain this place. The person who runs it (Ren?) gave me a tea that tasted like someone describing a memory of jasmine and I immediately started sobbing about my childhood. The water is the perfect temperature always. I asked how and they just smiled. I stayed for four hours and came out feeling like a new person with different bones. I mean that literally. My skeleton feels different. Better posture maybe? Anyway I'm cured of whatever was wrong with me and also mildly terrified. Five stars.

★☆☆☆☆ — Reviewed by davenormalguy (1 review)
ok look im not saying this place is run by some kind of forest spirit but i AM saying i went in with a bad knee and left with a good knee AND the sudden knowledge of where my ex-wife hid the rest of my vinyl collection. I DID NOT ASK FOR THAT INFORMATION. i was at peace with losing those records. now i have to DO something about it. ren if youre reading this i dont appreciate the psychic drive-by. also the towels are nice.

OWNER RESPONSE:
Dave. The records are under the porch. You knew this already. You simply weren't ready to retrieve them. The springs only surface what's already there. 🌸
We hope your knee continues to feel better. Please return when you've processed.

Saltgrave Lighthouse & Inn

★★☆☆☆ — Reviewed by Gary_TrueReviewer (Yelp Elite '19)
Look, the LIGHTHOUSE itself is fine. Historic, atmospheric, good for photos. But I asked the owner a simple question about the shipwreck history for my podcast and he gave me a TWENTY MINUTE answer that I did NOT ask for. Sir I just wanted a soundbite. Also he kept saying things like "the sea doesn't forget" and "she takes what she's owed" which is NOT helpful for a family-friendly history podcast.Also pretty sure there's a guy living in the rocks near the beach?? I saw him eating raw fish at like 6am. The owner just said "that's Finn, don't worry about it." I AM worried about it. That's a health code violation at MINIMUM.Dropping stars because when I tried to leave, my car wouldn't start for three hours and the owner just said "she's not done with you yet." WHO IS SHE. THE CAR??? THE OCEAN???

OWNER RESPONSE:
Gary. You asked about the Maiden's Lament. That wreck took eleven men and a boy who was two weeks from his wedding. You don't get a "soundbite" from that. You get the story, or you get nothing.Finn pays rent in fish. It's an arrangement. And your car started eventually, didn't it? She let you go.Don't come back.

Thornwild Forest Trails

★★★★☆ — Reviewed by HikingDad_Steve
Came up from Portland with my son for a "bonding trip" after his mom and I split. Guide guy (Cassian?) was great — quiet but clearly knows every inch of those woods. Kept us on the marked paths and pointed out some really cool mushrooms. My kid actually put his phone down for twenty minutes which is basically a miracle.Only reason for 4 stars: my son says he saw "a deer with too many eyes" near the third marker and now he won't stop drawing it. I didn't see anything but the guide got REAL quiet and cut the hike short.
EDIT: He's been asking about "the door in the big tree" for three days. There was no door. I would have seen it.

OWNER RESPONSE (Thornwild Guided Tours — Cassian Holt):
Stay on the paths next time.